Should..?

So another week passes by...and now it's the end of September. I have mix feelings of getting to the end of this year 2010...December is approaching and I have like 3 months of everything to work my plan...as sooo many things going on for the past 9 months, I need to make sure that everything has to work as plan (luckily that I didn't make any new year resolution...just a "wish list" so to called). Some of the thing that I have "wished" was completing the application as along as the final preparation for my PhD. Is there any progress of that?....well i have to say that...it's moving not progressing due to many "aral melintang" kind of obstacle plus my own state of readiness...

Speaking of readiness, I was actually having this kind of feeling of contemplating between the urge to pursue my PhD first or "putting the ring" or the other way round...honestly I was not not sure about this...and does this means that I am ready to "commit"?...I am not really sure about what I should go first now...but one thing for sure is I am so excited of getting my own house soon....

TO BE CONTINUED....

the truth is...sometimes i try sometimes i cry

Still in the mood of "raya"....well it's in Johore..we celebrate Eid for a month...lots of frens to be visited...long lost relatives...etc..etc..etc. So what did I enjoy most of the celebration...? Not so much on shopping coz am still in the state of "freezing" myself from the "urge"...but I do went for shopping though BUT I shoppe for my brother and sisters plus my nephew (he losts his father at the age of 5 month..5 years ago)...so giving him the hapiness of "raya" is a joy to me.

And off course when more people come and "raya"...people will ask the "evergreen" question to me....honestly..am not tired and feel sucks..but I feel rather worried and doubt...

One of my former student said this to me.."Miss ni saya tengok rilek jek...bila lg miss? Nanti kalau miss mati tak ada sapa nk doakan"....honestly I did not feel offended by his statement but I was quite stunned and later replied to him that...it's not that I wasn't thinking bout my "second phase" of my life but I believe that the day will come soon and I don't now when...but soon..when the time is finally arrived...and honestly that am still waiting for that moment and day to come...believe me..I've tried and still trying...but it's not easy...

When Secrets Become a Burden...

I believe that most of us do have secrets and keep secrets of others. No matter how big the secret is some people would die to keep it and some others are dying to know the secrets. So what makes one person attached to the promises of keeping the secrets to his/herself? Was it because of the trust? Was it because you are a good "secret keeper"? ...or in more serious cases some people "promise" to keep the secret but later broke the promise for the sake of his/herself?
Let's forget about those who are "expert" in breaking the promises coz nothing worth to discuss about them...but let's step in to the "shoes" of the person who are really trustworthy...the person who can keep the secrets and because we trust them with heart and soul..what was the feeling of being the person of trust and how much secrets can we throw to them by having the 360 degrees of trust that they will keep your secrets?

Walking with their "shoes" is definately going to give us a very different perspective...imagine how much secrets do they know and how strong they are to uphold all secrets from being spurred? Are they strong enough to keep all the secrets including "dirty' secrets? Has this ever came across your mind...that secrets can sometimes be a "burden" to these people? Ever wonder that they also have limitation? Can you feel that sometimes they wanted to be freed from all the "burden"? How long can they stick to the plan of being "partner in crime"?